Sciencemincer
A Sciencemincer, as opposed to a Sciencemancer, is a person who uses scientific methods to mince food. (Especially meat) Sciencemincers, unlike Sciencemancers, do not have any formal organization or hierarchy. If you use scientific methods to mince food, you are a Sciencemincer. Case closed.
Methods
Well-known scientific methods of mincing:
- Folding some food over itself dozens of times in nega-space, and then cutting it once.
- Building and mounting a death ray and then mounting it in a box containing an elaborate system of high-efficiency mirrors and prisms. Then dropping food into the box.
- Mounting hundreds of thousands of sub-sub-sub-atomic black holes in a precise array. When food is placed in the center, the black holes pull it apart in a perfect mincing pattern. Revered Sciencemincer, Roni-San Fransisco, is known to make elaborate food sculptures with this method.
Origins
Sciencemincing began as a fad hobby for stay-at-home soccer-moms who had too little to do and too much education. The date of the first sciencemincing is unknown. However, it was widely believed to have been on Smay 15th, 2020. Smay 15th is now celebrated grammaverse-wide as Sciencemincing Day.
Controversy
Famous Sciencemincer Ron Paul caused controversy when he provided Dino-Nauts (via sub-sub-sub-space transmission) with plans for a high-tech sciencemincing machine. They promptly constructed the device and used it to horribly mince some Orphans. They subsequently broadcast the video on all frequencies, grossing out several people.
