Ghosts of Grammar

The Ghosts of Grammar are three ghosts which are consulted about past, present, and yet to come grammar developments. They were summoned by and Ch4r13z D1ck3nz with the dark aid of Space-Beelzebub. Ch4r13z D1ck3nz sent them after Ebenezer Scrooge to punish him for saying, "He is someone to who I owe a great deal" instead of the more proper "He is someone to whom I owe a great deal." Today they mostly haunt people about their terrible grammar practices they had, currently have, or will have. They also spend some time pursuing personal goals as well.

Ghost of Grammar Past

The Ghost of Grammar Past took Ebenezer Scrooge back to his middle school english classes and made him repeat all of Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth grade. It also rumored that Ebenezer received a Third grade education as well.

Today the Ghost of Grammar Past haunts the 3ur0p3 St4rzyz73m, hanging and beheading those with bad grammar practices.

Ghost of Grammar Present

The Ghost of Grammar Present took Ebenezer Scrooge to the family of one his workers and showed him his little son, Timmy. Not only did Timmy have impeccable grammar, but he also was a very polite, respectful child. Also he was adopted, so that's funny too.

To this day the Ghost of Grammar Present plays in a rock band. They're pretty alright.

Ghost of Grammar Yet To Come

The Ghost of Grammar Yet To Come took Scrooge to a not so distant future where Scrooge is beat to death for this terrible grammar practices by a mob of happy-go-lucky peasants who had actually paid attention in school.

Scrooge does not heed the warnings and later that week he is beaten to death in much the same way as was shown him. He remains dead (and with poor grammar) to this day.

The Ghost of Grammar Yet To Come is currently being held captive by the Semantics Gestapo. It is believe they are using him to influence the evolution of grammar so that it becomes more in line with their semantically correct practices.

Other Ghosts

Some believe there exist others, such as the Ghost of Ongoing Grammar Still in Use, and the Ghost of Past Grammar Which Was in Use When Another Grammar Emerged. However, the existence of these types of ghosts was not confirmed when this article was first written, and their current activities, if any, are as yet unknown. This unfortunate state of affairs is unsurprising, since our knowledge of the past is not perfect.