Exploding Santa
Exploding Santa is the arch-nemesis of Communist Santa. He is feared/revered by his enemies (especially Communist Santa) for his ability to explode with the power of a million exploding suns. (He re-forms several days later as an even fatter Exploding Santa)
History
The history of Exploding Santa is full of betrayal, misery, love, lust, sex, longing, peanut butter, vats of acid, industrial accidents, car crashes, Dino-Nauts, and puppies. It is well-documented that Exploding Santa was created (ironically) in an implosion of epic non-proportions. A small ceramic coffee mug was sitting on the desk of a 3rd grade space-geography teacher when suddenly, it imploded with a small poof! In the horrifying aftermath, several 3rd graders were momentarily distracted from learning the precise location of the Beta Alpha Epsilon Theta Omega Pi System.
In that moment, Exploding Santa was born. The implosion of the ceramic coffee mugs, mingled with the precisely coincidental calibration of a nearby deflector dish created a delicious gumbo whence Exploding Santa was birthed by Satan himself. His first mighty words as he entered this dimension were recorded by St. Boyardee the Delectable. They were recorded thusly: "Eileen! If you don't make me waffles for dinner, I'm going to pay that nice man at the space-bus depot to beat you again! Gabbagabbahey!"
Since then, separated from his beloved Eileen (and the beatings thereof), Exploding Santa has roamed the cosmos with one goal burning in his unstable mind: Fighting the spread of space-communism and the vile Communist Santa.
