Space-communism
Space-Communism is a socio-economic ideology. The main ideas of Space-Communism are as follows: "If everyone works just a little bit, we can all live in extreme poverty together," "Commodities such as space-toilet paper are too valuable to simply sell in a store; Instead, we must ration them and make the people wait in never-ending lines for a slim chance at acquiring them," and "Because we favor the idea of everyone being equal, we must create a giant authoritarian government. For the people. To be equal."
Contents
Recent Developments
Space-Communism has since been replaced by its younger hotter blonde sister: Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism
History
Ideology Historians are unsure where Space-Communism originated. One theory is that it was created by a particularly overgrown ice miner's union on Nike VIII. Another theory is that Communist Santa created Space-Communism. (See Relationship With Communist Santa) This theory is popular among the children of poor countries with despotic regimes.
Manifesto
The Space-Communism Manifesto was written by a duck. No one knows how the duck the accomplished this, why he did it, who he was, or what his favorite type of pasta was.
Preamble
The preamble, reproduced below, is widely regarded as the most important part of this historical document, for the simple reason that most people just skim over the rest.
A Santa is haunting Gramma-Verse - the Santa of Space-Communism. All the powers of the Gramma-Verse have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this Santa: Space-Nuns and Dino-Nauts, orphans and ducks, Nu Fonix Radicals and the Semantics Gestapo.
Where is the party in opposition that has not been decried as communistic by its opponents in power? Where is the opposition that has not hurled back the branding reproach of communism, against the more advanced opposition parties, as well as against its reactionary adversaries?
Two things result from this fact:
- Space-Communism is already acknowledged by all Gramma-Verse powers to be itself a power
- It is high time that Space-Communists should openly, in the face of the 'verse itself, publish their views, their aims, their tendencies, and meet this nursery tale of the Santa of Communism with the manifesto of the party itself.
It is at this point that most people get bored and stop reading, and go on with their everyday lives, completely oblivious to the fact that are being oppressed by entrenched interests who use the State to maintain a monopoly on the exploitation of the working class. Those who do continue reading are usually shot by the Semantics Gestapo before they finish the first chapter.
Famous Quotes
- "The history of all hitherto existing society is incredibly boring."
- "Workers all nations: Unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains, house, family, job, dignity, and internal organs."
- "The bourgeoisie has subjected the country to the rule of towns. It has created enormous cities, has greatly increased the urban population as compared with the rural, cured cancer, whited our teeth while we slept, provided our children with education... and, uh... shoot."
- "All words are created equally!" - Communist Santa
Relationship with Communist Santa
Nobody is really sure which came first - Space-Communism, or Communist Santa. Of course, nobody really cares, either.
