Schlongdinger Controversy

The Schlongdinger Controversy or sometimes 'The Schlongdinger Affair' refers to a Sciencemancer experiment on puppies and the subsequent public outcry and controversy associated with it.

It is named after Sciencemancer Dissection Leader Wilbur W. Schlongdinger, who was in charge of the experiment.

The Experiment

Leading Sciencemancer authorities wanted to know if puppies could breathe in space. They feared that space-faring puppies in adorably playful attack squadrons could pose a threat to them militarily. Therefore, W.W. Schlongdinger was ordered to find out if puppies could breathe in space. He bought captured puppies on the Purple Market and ejected them out of airlocks. Each puppy died. One, however, climbed into a box left in the airlock prior to being ejected, and Schlongdinger was unable to ascertain if it was dead or alive. Consequently, the experiment was repeated several thousand times. (Schlongdinger apparently wanted to make sure there was nothing going on besides puppies dying in a vacuum.)

The Outcry

Semantics Gestapo spies discovered footage of the experiments in a file cabinet somewhere. Out of malice and boredom, they released the footage to the press, who promptly published them to much fanfare as Sciencemancers Gone Wild.

The public, of course, was outraged. It was a cause of great trepidation for the Sciencemancers. They felt they had done nothing wrong. (Their view is that anything is justifiable, in the name of science!) Out of spite for their poor public image, the Sciencemancers killed several thousand more puppies.

Schlongdinger Mystery

Nobody knows where Schlongdinger went. Footage allegedly from a sciencemancer security feed shows a puppy emerging from sub-space, killing him, and re-submerging. Experts maintain the footage is genuine, but most people ignore the experts, since a puppy would never do that to someone's entrails (never mind his genitals).