Orphans

Orphans are a type of small human who have lost contact with their mother and father. They are probably dead. Orphans are well-known for being the toughiest, scrappiest, bunch of newspaper salespeople to ever grace the streets of Space New Yourke. Because they work upwards of 25 space-hours per cycle selling newspapers, they have huge muscles and can beat up almost anyone younger than they are. Because of their huge muscles and low fat content, they are the staple food of affluent Dino-Nauts. Orphans are also valued by Dino-Nauts for their stupidity. This causes them to inevitably insert scissors into flux capacitors whenever those two items are in the same room. Dino-Nauts exploit this fact to power their Space Submersibles.

Appearance

This girl is not an orphan. She is much too clean. She is, however, an expert in the art of canine death-grips!

This is definitely an orphan. Notice the proud orphan stare, the dirty orphan face, and the bulging orphan muscles!

Orphans can be readily identified and and distinguished from average humans. For one, all orphans are children. When an orphan turns 18 years of age, they lose their orphanhood (this event is called a Car-Mitzvah in orphan lingo). Because orphans are children, they are very short. It is rare to find orphans larger than 3.5 space-feet tall (excepting orphans who come from extremely low-gravity environments).

Secondly, orphans can be identified by their general filthiness. It's not that they don't know how to practice proper space-hygiene, it's that they refuse to do so out of inscrutable orphan pride. Some orphans have even been known to stand underneath of defecating elephants at the space-zoo.

Orphans always have stoic, hardy looks on their faces. Orphans rarely smile. If an orphan smiles at you, you either just purchased a newspaper or you are about to suffer a violent orphan-related death.

Orphans always wear plain clothing. Not because it is easy to come by or because they are poor or because they want to blend in with their surroundings. They do it because it is comfortable. Orphans, despite their poverty, care deeply about their comfort. Some orphans have even been know to break into space zoos to sleep in the Elephant Safari exhibit with the elephants.

Eating Habits

Orphans always eat hardy, because they never know when they will be dining in hell. Their favorite thing to eat is puppies. But due to the high orphan population in many areas, puppies are hard to come by. If puppy-shortage is a problem, orphans will gladly eat each other. An orphan who is being consumed by another orphan does not feel bad about it. This is all part of the hardcore orphan's psyche.

Famous Orphans in History

A famous picture of the famous revolutionary Cho Gayjara. He was a famous orphan famous for his famous participation in the famous Siege of Phonics.

Several orphans have risen from the orphan ranks to become orphans famous throughout the Gramma-Verse.

An incomplete list:

• Cho Gayjara (Nu Fonix Radical)
• Tob Rarker (Ace TIE Interceptor pilot)
• Planna Tournichova
• Marbara Mricemrand
• Terry McFlatchelsplit
• JoJoannaJo
• Carnivorous Orphan Hybrid Experiment #5534
• Satan
• Homer Iliad (Nu Fonix Radical)

Relationship With Space-Nuns

Orphans have a mostly functional alliance with Space-Nuns.