Third grade education

Widely believed to be the greatest military asset in the entire Gramma-Verse, it is rumored a third grade education (TGE) can overcome all but the most powerful foes. However, no one is quite sure what it is. Many experts, notably second graders, maintain "third grade" and its related "education" are illusions constructed by the Semantics Gestapo to scare citizens into compliance.

Theories

There are many theories surrounding the nature of TGEs. Since authorities continue to be evasive on the subject, various ideas thrive. One of the more prominent ones holds that third grade education allows one to know the secrets of llama reproduction, with obvious military applications. Others suggest those who possess it learn the true nature of language. However, skeptics accuse proponents of this theory as "tailoring academic discourse to fit their anarchist agenda" in an attempt "to undermine the basis of Semantic, Grammar, and Spelling authority by claiming the functions of these various institutions are unnecessary." Indeed, the aforementioned proponents are frequently members of fringe organizations who possess dictionaries.

Proliferation Concerns

Most Gramma-Verse governments agree the spread of TGEs should be halted, if not reversed. Intergalactic efforts to this effect, however, have been derailed by internal squabbles over who has a TGE. Dino-Nauts regularly accuse TIE Interceptor pilots of being armed with one TGE each. TIE Interceptor pilots routinely deny having TGEs, reverse the accusation, and use it as an excuse for losing in weekly Bingo tournaments against the Dino-Nauts. Both parties, however, have expressed alarm over the idea of a TGE in the hands of an orphan.