Mario Teaches Typing

Mario Teaches Typing is a flight training software used by aspiring TIE pilots. It was published by the infamously insidious Interplay Corporation. (Now defunct) It includes nine lessons, such as Home Row, Top Row, Evasive Maneuvers, Numbers, Nuclear Missile Targeting Systems, Lower Row, and Skid Row. It also includes five different modes, the most frightening-sounding of which is "Mario's Tunnel of Doom."

The game has been the source of controversy and/or repression in many systems controlled by space-communism.

History

In the summer of 1990, Thomas Decker, an employee of Interplay, worked day and night with his team of evil programmers, evil artists, evil voice actors and evil play testers to create Mario Teaches Typing. When the team fully realized the evil they had created, they attempted to destroy all copies of the game. Fearing that the game could be recreated by brain scanning team members, the team members suicided for the greater good. Unfortunately, 17,000 copies of the game were not destroyed. (Apparently, even with the power of teamwork, destroying video games is difficult)

The evil Interplay corporation, with its 17,000 undestroyed copies of the software, started to seek a market for this evil they had commissioned for some reason. Interplay was contacted in 1991 by NOUNCORP, who was interested in using the software to train pilots for their new TIE spacecraft. NOUNCORP paid an undisclosed sum for exclusive rights to the software. They are the sole proprietor to this day.

Illegal Copies

Despite NOUNCORPs insistence that everyone purchase the software from them for $800 starbucks, illegal copying of Mario Teaches Typing runs rampant. NOUNCORP has done their best to stifle this behavior through an anti-copyright infringement campaign entitled "Don't Copy That Floppy." The campaign was a huge failure and copying runs rampant to this day.

Controversy

In systems controlled by communists, the software has been blacklisted. Communist authorities do not want their meek, poverty-stricken populace to be able to train to fly combat spacecraft. Many objectors (quickly silenced) note that this fear is irrational, as there are only five computers in space-communism controlled areas.