Difference between revisions of "Orphans"
(New page: Orphans are a type of small human who have lost contact with their mother and father. They are probably dead. Orphans are well-known for being the toughiest, scrappiest, bunch of newspap...) |
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| − | Orphans are a type of small human who have lost contact with their mother and father. They are probably dead. Orphans are well-known for being the toughiest, scrappiest, bunch of newspaper salespeople to ever grace the streets of [[Space New Yourke]]. Because they work upwards of 25 [[space-hours]] per [[cycle]] selling newspapers, they have huge muscles and can beat up almost anyone younger than they are. Because of their huge muscles and low fat content, they are the staple food of affluent [[Dino-Nauts]]. Orphans are also valued by Dino-Nauts for their stupidity. This causes them to inevitably insert scissors into [[flux capacitor]]s whenever those two items are in the same room. Dino-Nauts exploit this fact to power their [[Space | + | Orphans are a type of small human who have lost contact with their mother and father. They are probably dead. Orphans are well-known for being the toughiest, scrappiest, bunch of newspaper salespeople to ever grace the streets of [[Space New Yourke]]. Because they work upwards of 25 [[space-hours]] per [[cycle]] selling newspapers, they have huge muscles and can beat up almost anyone younger than they are. Because of their huge muscles and low fat content, they are the staple food of affluent [[Dino-Nauts]]. Orphans are also valued by Dino-Nauts for their stupidity. This causes them to inevitably insert scissors into [[flux capacitor]]s whenever those two items are in the same room. Dino-Nauts exploit this fact to power their [[Space Submersibles]]. |
==Appearance== | ==Appearance== | ||
[[Image:annie.gif|thumb|This girl is not an orphan. She is much too clean. She is, however, an expert in the art of canine death-grips!]] | [[Image:annie.gif|thumb|This girl is not an orphan. She is much too clean. She is, however, an expert in the art of canine death-grips!]] | ||
| + | [[Image:Orphan.jpg|thumb|This is definitely an orphan. Notice the proud orphan stare, the dirty orphan face, and the bulging orphan muscles!]] | ||
Orphans can be readily identified and and distinguished from average humans. For one, all orphans are children. When an orphan turns 18 years of age, they lose their orphanhood. (This event is called a [[Car-Mitzvah]] in orphan lingo) Because orphans are children, they are very short. It is rare to find orphans larger than 3.5 [[space-feet]] tall. (Excepting orphans who come from extremely low-gravity environments) | Orphans can be readily identified and and distinguished from average humans. For one, all orphans are children. When an orphan turns 18 years of age, they lose their orphanhood. (This event is called a [[Car-Mitzvah]] in orphan lingo) Because orphans are children, they are very short. It is rare to find orphans larger than 3.5 [[space-feet]] tall. (Excepting orphans who come from extremely low-gravity environments) | ||
Secondly, orphans can be identified by their general filthiness. It's not that they don't know how to practice proper [[space-hygiene]], it's that they refuse to do so out of inscrutable orphan pride. Some orphans have even been known to stand underneath of defecating elephants at the space-zoo. | Secondly, orphans can be identified by their general filthiness. It's not that they don't know how to practice proper [[space-hygiene]], it's that they refuse to do so out of inscrutable orphan pride. Some orphans have even been known to stand underneath of defecating elephants at the space-zoo. | ||
Revision as of 04:20, 10 January 2008
Orphans are a type of small human who have lost contact with their mother and father. They are probably dead. Orphans are well-known for being the toughiest, scrappiest, bunch of newspaper salespeople to ever grace the streets of Space New Yourke. Because they work upwards of 25 space-hours per cycle selling newspapers, they have huge muscles and can beat up almost anyone younger than they are. Because of their huge muscles and low fat content, they are the staple food of affluent Dino-Nauts. Orphans are also valued by Dino-Nauts for their stupidity. This causes them to inevitably insert scissors into flux capacitors whenever those two items are in the same room. Dino-Nauts exploit this fact to power their Space Submersibles.
Appearance
Orphans can be readily identified and and distinguished from average humans. For one, all orphans are children. When an orphan turns 18 years of age, they lose their orphanhood. (This event is called a Car-Mitzvah in orphan lingo) Because orphans are children, they are very short. It is rare to find orphans larger than 3.5 space-feet tall. (Excepting orphans who come from extremely low-gravity environments)
Secondly, orphans can be identified by their general filthiness. It's not that they don't know how to practice proper space-hygiene, it's that they refuse to do so out of inscrutable orphan pride. Some orphans have even been known to stand underneath of defecating elephants at the space-zoo.
